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Recently Asked of The Monkey


03 July 2005

I think I swallowed a moth in my sleep. There was an antenna and/or leg on my lip when I looked in the mirror this morning. Should I be concerned? I sleep with my mouth wide open at night and it has gotten me thinking about just how much wildlife has met its demise while I slumber. I am not “creeped out” by the idea, but I do feel some remorse. Any advice/penance?

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Studious Pupil

03 April 2005

Recently, my school replaced the old writing composition teacher with an even older one. While I always considered writing was one of my stronger assets (often an idea expressed by grades), the new teacher doesn’t agree. Now my essays appear to have been the altar at which a goat was sacrificed upon judging by all the red correction ink crossing out words, sentences and even whole paragraphs! Is she just trying to run the school dry of red writing utensils? Or is there something else, perhaps more sinister, going on?

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Positively Uncouth

27 March 2005

My cubicle-mate at work smells like whatever he ate for breakfast all day long. Does he even know how to use utensils or does he just eat with his hands?! Ew. How can I tell him that his odor is an offense to others without hurting his feelings too badly?

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About The Monkey

The Monkey

The Monkey was created in late 1998 by Mary Pedersen from felt, stuffing, and a pair of striped black knee socks. With the astonishing wisdom he has since amassed, he has become a trusted consultant to numerous high-ranking government officials and Fortune 500 executive officers. Now The Monkey generously brings his keen insight to the unwashed masses with this weekly column.

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