What a year this turned out to be.
Shortly after the year began, my time with the amazing team at Happy Cog ended. It was the best thing for all concerned, even if my lack of an exit strategy left me without direction. My comfort zone was toxic, so really, any direction would do.
Thanks in large part to Rob Across America, this has been the most traveled year of my life, but it’s not over yet. Before I disappear under a pile of blankets for the winter, I have a few more North American destinations lined up for the fall. If you happen to see me in any of these places, I hope you’ll say hello.
Sometimes, you just can’t fight the urge to have your hair shaved into lightning bolts, hop a plane to San Francisco, and stand glaring in chaps on a stage in front of 1,500 drunken lunatics. I did this at the behest of my alter-ego Windhammer and the 2008 Cuervo Black US Air Guitar National Finals last Friday while the rest of the world had decidedly less fun watching the Olympic opening ceremonies.
I like adjectives that are both crystal clear and totally vague. For example, you may be coming off a “good” weekend just like I am, but it’s entirely possible that the “good” elements of our respective weekends were completely different. Perhaps you were served an amazing slice of peach cobbler, or your blind date turned out to be George Clooney, or you finally disposed of some incriminating evidence that’s been haunting you for years. But you definitely weren’t crowned the Philadelphia regional champ of the US Air Guitar Championships. Nope, that was all me.
Okay, I have to make this really quick, because I’m already leaving much later than I wanted to. Leaving for what, you ask? A month-long, cross-country road trip, naturally. I made a web site for it which is where I’ll be writing exclusively for the next month (not that you expected to see anything new here). My bitchin’ Corolla is leaving Philadelphia momentarily—jump in the passenger seat!
Dear The Monkey,
I think I swallowed a moth in my sleep. There was an antenna and/or leg on my lip when I looked in the mirror this morning. Should I be concerned? I sleep with my mouth wide open at night and it has gotten me thinking about just how much wildlife has met its demise while I slumber. I am not “creeped out” by the idea, but I do feel some remorse. Any advice/penance?
Sincerely,
Barnum
PhD thesis
steeped in baffling arcana
and fudge recipes
a comfy sofa
couldn’t sate his faineance
but sleeping pills could
The War on Terror
is more than merely zeitgeist
it’s a board game, too
many a person’s
life-changing bouleversement
was caused by Six Flags
I’m not mendacious
women dig my honesty
and my flying car
